Making an entrance...
posted by Beth Miner @ 10:12 PM
5 Comments
Jul 22, 2009
Jun 25, 2009
These Are Holy Jeans...
I was at a concert the other night when a woman decided to block my view with this:
This is troubling, you guys! It would be one thing if she showed signs of just escaping a knife fight or narrowly avoiding a weedeater to the femur. But, no. She looked perfectly at ease and content with the redneck air conditioning method known as ripped jeans. I think it's more the placement than anything that I have trouble accepting...
This is troubling, you guys! It would be one thing if she showed signs of just escaping a knife fight or narrowly avoiding a weedeater to the femur. But, no. She looked perfectly at ease and content with the redneck air conditioning method known as ripped jeans. I think it's more the placement than anything that I have trouble accepting...
posted by Beth Miner @ 12:03 AM
1 Comments
Jun 7, 2009
May 27, 2009
May 26, 2009
May 16, 2009
May 13, 2009
Ready for this jelly...
Our awesome friend, Ben, has been promising to send me this picture for a couple months and it finally arrived in my inbox today! So worth the wait, don't you think?
I just don't know what I would do with something so prime and juicy that could double as a shelf. Perhaps I'd have a tea party.
I just don't know what I would do with something so prime and juicy that could double as a shelf. Perhaps I'd have a tea party.
Labels: funny
posted by Beth Miner @ 10:50 PM
2 Comments
Apr 20, 2009
Apr 17, 2009
Funny Folk...
Carl & I went to the Funniest Person in Austin contest the other night! One of the 4 finalists who made it through to the next round was Ramin Nazir. He was flippin' hilarious. Almost as funny as the people who bombed. :)
One of my favorite jokes was when Ramin said something like, "I was eating at Hooters the other day when the Hootress came up and asked, 'does everything taste ok?' and I said, wow that's exactly how it tastes.".
One of my favorite jokes was when Ramin said something like, "I was eating at Hooters the other day when the Hootress came up and asked, 'does everything taste ok?' and I said, wow that's exactly how it tastes.".
posted by Beth Miner @ 9:30 PM
0 Comments
Apr 4, 2009
How sweet...
Banner ads are annoying. This particular one caught my attention for several reasons.
First of all, have those glasses EVER been stylish? No. They weren't appropriate on the kid from A Christmas Story and they're not acceptable now.
Secondly, what the hell are they eating?? It looks like a huge creepy piece of Mickey Mouse chocolate, the size of the child's noggin, stuck to a rice krispie treat. On a stick. Hello diabetes!!
First of all, have those glasses EVER been stylish? No. They weren't appropriate on the kid from A Christmas Story and they're not acceptable now.
Secondly, what the hell are they eating?? It looks like a huge creepy piece of Mickey Mouse chocolate, the size of the child's noggin, stuck to a rice krispie treat. On a stick. Hello diabetes!!
posted by Beth Miner @ 8:47 PM
1 Comments
Mar 19, 2009
Mar 10, 2009
Mar 5, 2009
Feb 6, 2009
The 2008 Darwin Awards...
Here are the glorious top 10 winners:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- cutting
machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Sarare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief in the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes,
officer, that's her. that's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
Seattle street , he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The o wner of the vehicle declined to press
charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked. And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat- cutting
machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Sarare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3
days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief in the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes,
officer, that's her. that's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
Seattle street , he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The o wner of the vehicle declined to press
charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
posted by Beth Miner @ 10:21 AM
0 Comments
Feb 3, 2009
Textual Healing...
A couple of nights ago, I got a text message from someone I don't know. I was going to respond immediately and let them know what was up, but the little devil on my shoulder (named Carl) encouraged me to play along. Here's the transcript:
THEM: let's meet up at sherlock's for a drink!
ME: i'll be there, but i'm not wearing any panties.
THEM: that's ok.
ME: what r u wearing?
THEM: nothing.
ME: mmm my fave! what should we do after drinks?
THEM: come on over and have some fun.
ME: strip poker or naked twister?
THEM: are you coming?
ME: oh you'll know when i cum.
ME: i gotta come clean...i have no idea who this is!
THEM: you're a bad one that's for sure.
THEM: let's meet up at sherlock's for a drink!
ME: i'll be there, but i'm not wearing any panties.
THEM: that's ok.
ME: what r u wearing?
THEM: nothing.
ME: mmm my fave! what should we do after drinks?
THEM: come on over and have some fun.
ME: strip poker or naked twister?
THEM: are you coming?
ME: oh you'll know when i cum.
ME: i gotta come clean...i have no idea who this is!
THEM: you're a bad one that's for sure.
Labels: funny, phone call
posted by Beth Miner @ 5:37 PM
3 Comments
Jan 30, 2009
Mattie Money...
I do believe this is the first "professional" Eddie Money photo I've received! This is Lord Matthew McCloskey. I feel like I have to refer to him like that because he looks so distinguished in this pose. Matt is a web guru, musician, papa to 2 adorable baby dumplings, and husband to a pretty little lady named Kayle. :) He may also be our business partner soon.
Who has two tickets to paradise?? This guy:
Who has two tickets to paradise?? This guy:
Labels: eddie money, friends, funny
posted by Beth Miner @ 7:22 PM
6 Comments
Jan 20, 2009
Krazy Keytars...
So...I've been thinking for quite awhile now that I want to buy a keytar. They deserve a 2nd shot after the 80's. I'll probably never be quite as awesome as this lady, but I can sure try!
posted by Beth Miner @ 6:41 PM
2 Comments
Jan 17, 2009
Jan 13, 2009
Jan 3, 2009
These foolish games...
We went to dinner the other night with a supafly couple, Geoff & Kristin. They're funny, easy-going, and smart...we might ask them to go steady. :)
During our meal, Kristin let it slip that Geoff used to have a thing for Jewel. He even had some of her sheet music. So we made him a little surprise:
I suddenly have 3 questions about Jewel:
1. What's wrong with her boobs?
2. What the hell is wrong with her boobs?
3. Holy crap, what's wrong with her boobs?
During our meal, Kristin let it slip that Geoff used to have a thing for Jewel. He even had some of her sheet music. So we made him a little surprise:
I suddenly have 3 questions about Jewel:
1. What's wrong with her boobs?
2. What the hell is wrong with her boobs?
3. Holy crap, what's wrong with her boobs?
posted by Beth Miner @ 1:00 AM
5 Comments
