Yurtastic...

Sometimes Carl stops to check the mail on our way home. Which is great because if it were left up to me, I might never collect our pile of bills & credit card offers.

He has this habit of taking each envelope out individually to see what it is before he comes back to the car. Typically he doesn't find anything of interest, but today when he was doing his routine, he looked over at me with a big smile on his face!

I asked what he was amused by and he handed me this large envelope from Pacific Yurts. I had forgotten that I requested a brochure from them last week! We've talked about building one on a little piece of property someday. I can see it now...

Anything's better with chocolate?

Carl & I were on sexy S. Congress the other day looking for my release party outfit. It must be pink & slightly odd. Those are my two requirements.

Anyway, we parked in front of the Big Top Candy Shop, which is this totally awesome old-fashioned soda fountain, so we popped in. They had chocolate covered bacon and we obviously had to buy a piece for Diego. He'll eat anything.

Look how much he enjoyed it!!

Youtubin'...

I started writing this about 6 months ago when 3 of my friends were having little girls. Not all of them were having the easiest time emotionally, hence the "love is all we need". So here's to baby Ava, baby Sophia, and baby Addasyn!



PRECIOUS PEARL, MY LITTLE GIRL
LOVE IS ALL WE NEED
TINY ONE, MY SUGARPLUM
LOVE IS ALL WE NEED

SOFT BREATH OF HEAVEN
BRIGHT ANGEL EYES
SWEET PEA, CURLS TO YOUR FEET
YOU'RE DIVINE, ALL MINE

GROW ARMS OF MERCY
GIVE ALL YOU TAKE
SING LAUGH, LEARN HOW TO DANCE
IN THE RAIN, FIND GRACE

*****

I think it's funny when single people are really cocky about how great they are and how anyone would be "lucky" to have them. Self-confidence is one thing, but self-awareness is another. So I wrote a little ditty after listening to some funny old Rosemary Clooney songs one day...



YOU'RE RIPE FOR THE PICKIN'
DON'T RUN LIKE THE DICKENS
JUST BE MY TURTLE DOVE

MY VOICE IS ELASTIC
MY CHEST IS FANTASTIC
AND LOOK WHO'S LOOKIN' FOR LOVE

I'LL DRESS EXOTIC
YA FLAUNT WHEN YOU GOT IT
I'LL BE YOUR TURTLE DOVE

I'LL COOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER
MY BUNS ALWAYS BUTTERED
YEAH LOOK WHO'S LOOKIN' FOR LOVE

MY LIPS PAINTED CHERRY
DON'T MIND IF YOU'RE HAIRY
JUST BE MY TURTLE DOVE

YOU BRING HOME THE BACON
AND I'LL DO THE FAKIN'
LOOK WHO'S LOOKIN' FOR LOVE

Phat & Sassy...

"If you're feeling full, at least you're feeling something."

Bill on King of the Hill said that to Bobby when they were overeating due to being depressed about lost love. The writing on that show is brilliant. It's gold, Jerry. Gold.

I'm a fairly petite girl, but there were two instances in the last year where I SWEAR people called me overweight to my face...

#1
I was working at my old job when a co-worker walked in wearing a cute shirt. I complimented her on it and she told me, "you've inspired me, Beth...big girls can wear cute clothes, too".

#2
Carl & I were talking to a client on the topic of how couples start to look like eachother as they get old. Then the guy said, "what are you gonna do, Carl? Get fat and grow boobs?".

While I appreciate the acknowledgment of my lady lumps, why the jab at size? I thought maybe he meant "phat" until I realized that he was not a member of the class of 1997.

Happy Feet...

We got home from church today and flipped on the TV while we were eating lunch. As many of you know, we don't have cable, so our channel & program selection is very limited. Just the 4 main networks & my PBS.

Well recently, we've been picking up a slightly fuzzy version of MTV tr3's, too! Score! Latin MTV. Lots of Spanglish a-flyin'. And we discovered a new show...

"Bust A Ritmo"

Big time wowee wow. From what I gathered by watching it once, the whole premise of the show is that they bring someone (the "accomplice") on each episode that wants to tell a big secret to another person (the "victim"). Then they choreograph a big dance routine with the accomplice to thoroughly impress the victim before the big reveal. Thus, solving our problems through dance.

I don't really know how I've gone 26 years without this show.

Oh and to top it all off, they aired a commercial en Espanol that appeared to be selling a cheese grater for your feet. I found it online for you:

Newsletter...

Click here to read my July 17th Newsletter! It's good, I promise.

Don't trip on your power...

I remember reading Dilbert since I was a kid, but I never really "got it" until I worked in an office. And now that I've worked in several offices, it's amazing how true to life these satirical strips are!

This particular one made me ponder the world for a moment. Our priorities really are this twisted, where business is king and kindness is a vagabond. I've been in dozens of situations where someone in charge (usually a "Power Bitch" who seems to be constantly PMSing...you know the type...) strictly makes their judgements by thinking of what's best for the company. Never even considering that they could make a difference in someone's world AND create a more dedicated understudy, just by giving an ounce of compassion.

I recall one time in particular that still raises my blood pressure when I think about it. I had been in Texas for about a month and was working at a Wells Fargo Motorbank. Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday, so I requested to have that day off about 3.5 weeks in advance. Well, when I picked up my schedule for that week, I noticed that they scheduled me to work a full day on VDay! I went to my PB Manager and asked her about it and she just brushed me off by saying "oh, I couldn't find anyone to fill in for you". That was the beginning of the end for me. I gave my 2 weeks notice shortly thereafter. I will never work for someone that inconsiderate again. She was single, overweight, and unhappy. So I'm sure she got some sort of cheap thrill from her power trip.

Though some successful people might call this foolish, I would encourage you (& myself) to base every decision on morality and integrity. Always think about how you would feel if you were in the other person's place. Be the change.

Poodle Skirt...

I meant to blog about this yesterday while I was still wearing the inspiration, but I didn't have a chance. They say scent has the strongest memory recall...

I got to the office on Thursday morning, wearing what I felt was a cute outfit...my newest pair of jeans, orange girly shirt with a yellow tank top over it. Purple shoes. Taste the rainbow.

The day was starting out well. I'd walked down to get a Jamba Juice and I knew a friend would be stopping by to talk biz. I sat down in my chair (it's totally badass, it used to be Carl's but he hated it and thought it was tacky. It is, but that's why I like it).

Then I smelled something funky. I looked around, but I hadn't been a major slob lately. So I started the sniff test. Hair: lavender. Orange shirt: baby powder. Tank top: body splash. And then I arrived at the pants.

Good golly, did I spoon a German Shepherd last night in bed??!

I threw my knee within inches of Carl's handsome face and demanded that he confirm the essence of canine was stewing on my lower limbs.

It was true. Sexy.

I think this happens when clothes are still slightly damp when you take them out of the dryer. Either that or I need to stop washing my clothes with recycled water from the local doggie shelter.

We don't have any pets and this has made me want to stay within 50 yards of anything with a tail. But sometimes they remove the tails off of dogs and then their bums just wiggle when they're happy.

The end.

Au Naturale...

I think you're officially a "grown-up" when you realize that your parents weren't completely crazy.

And it seems like overnight I've entered adulthood, because I've started to desire the things that I thought my parents were crazy for wanting. I see the beauty in being with nature. I understand why they wanted to live away from the city smog. I long for the sweet taste of that spring water I drank as a child and the wholesome food from our backyard garden. And I am finally grateful for it all.

Public Service Announcement...

FYI, those bags of peanuts that they give you on an airplane...



MIGHT actually contain nuts.



Proceed accordingly.